Wednesday, April 10, 2024

from April 2005

untitled draft

the comfortable silence between us
is beginning to fill with
all the things we leave unsaid

because you're still afraid to be happy
& I really do want to give you time and space
but jealousy has settled uncomfortably
into my rib cage
& this just gets more complicated every day

I don't want to be the next person who hurts you
& I know I might be if I stay
& I know I will be if I turn my back on you
& walk away

because you won't understand
why I don't return your phone calls
won't know I can't be near you
because I'm afraid of the answer
to a question I refuse to ask

you'll probably never realize
that there even was a question.

i've wasted too many words in this life
to tell the kind of pretty lies I need
to convince myself that this is good enough for me.

I know that neither of us is really ready
& that there are no guarantees
but i would rather stumble through and make mistakes
than miss this chance

you see,
my heart has forgotten how to be patient.

just kiss me
and i promise
I will kiss you back.

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