I think we loved each other then, each in our way.
Yours, newborn kitten soft,
Terrified & fragile.
Mine, fierce but silent,
A weight in my chest I could barely breathe beneath.
So many years ago, I moved you like a chess piece
From my heart to my past
Even then, I knew it wasn’t a winning play
But we both continued on, just
Apart.
But you were the first person who
Held too much of my heart
So much that when I walked away
I wondered if there was enough
To pump my blood
To keep me alive
I traded feeling weak in the knees
For a different kind of weakness
When you were no longer there to prop me up.
I was lost without you, but determined
To make my own way.
But perhaps we have always been tethered together
Loosely, drifting each in our own tide
Until you tugged the string,
Pulling me towards you,
Crashing into this beautiful disaster.
Older, wiser, sadder, but in each other’s orbit
Once again.
Now I want to crawl inside the library of your soul
Read every story that you’ve held onto
By candle light, undisturbed,
Until I know you better than my own heart beat.
Because you are
A fountain forever recycling
Hope, clear and crisp and so refreshing after
A long drought.
You meet me in the darkest corners of my mind
Armed with starlight and your bright eyes.
This world; it hasn’t treated either of us gently.
We compare scars, let each other peek behind the curtains
Hiding our dark parts.
Slowly becoming again what we were always supposed to be;
Together.
We have both earned the right to choose our peace,
I just never expected mine to arrive wearing your smile.
I never expected these butterflies
To find their way back home
To dance in my ribcage
Every time you cross my mind.
It’s been so long since I gave them their freedom.
